even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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