When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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