Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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