ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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