drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize