So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
