Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
