you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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