I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
