The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
