Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.