I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
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It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
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Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!