i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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