There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
