How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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