so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
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