so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
