And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
