I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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