somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
