do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
