YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
