i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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