2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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