thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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