i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Randomize
