I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
