First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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