Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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