i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
