It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
