I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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