Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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