I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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