your thong is hanging out like whoa
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
