do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
