We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
