I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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