I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
