She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
