It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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