We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize