Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
