i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I FOUND THE LEGS
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