I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
