how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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