we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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