he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
