just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize