I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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