Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize