Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
