You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
