Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
