getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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