Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
