I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
should my penis look like a turkey
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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