Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
