I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
