we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
