The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
